Every Moment!

If you're ever in the spot where the light at the end of the tunnel doesn't seem possible, there is no reason to get out of bed, there is no hope for a better day... I can tell you right now... it won't last, if you don't let it.

You can do hard things.

Two months ago I was laying in this very bed for days, crying. Two months ago I thought worthless things of myself and was scared to even try to move on. It's embarrassing to think how badly I was knocked off my feet, that's not at all how I perceive myself to be when hard times hit. But it happens.

 Now this bed brings my happiness. This house makes me smile. I get to wake up everyday to happy kids and snuggle countless nights with a boy who I love. It's all about perspective, and I couldn't have gained that perspective without a testimony of the gospel and the family & friend support that I have. I was in this same bed two months ago as I am now, but now I look at life through grateful eyes, I see my trials as a strengthening blessing and have put trust in God's plan for me.

My cousin Owen, such a happy blessing in my life!

I make stupid decisions and sometimes feel like I'm traveling backwards, but each day I get up, I put that smile on my face that genuinely shines from my heart. I can honestly say I am happy in every moment. I am not crossing off days from my calendar or waiting anxiously for a weekend. Every single moment has been incredible. Every single moment gives me another reason to love this beautiful life.

It's not because my life is perfect right now. One of the hardest struggles that has ever happened in my family, happens as I write. Some nights I cry in pain for this loved one, who is facing difficulties that I wish I could take myself. But I know that God gives each of us the challenges that we need to help us grow stronger, that He knows what we can handle and He knows that we can do it.

In a letter I wrote to this amazing family member I said: "I wish I knew what to say to you, to make it all better. The thing is, it doesn't get better. But when we ourselves get better, we can deal with it as it comes and kick our trials in the butt. Then we will be saying bring it on!"

And I absolutely believe that. Life won't get easier, we're going to face things we've never faced before. It's not a punishment, its a blessing. We are blessed to be given such challenges to shape us into better people. We are blessed to be given agency to choose on our own the pathway we want. We are blessed to be children of God and have a Savior to help us through every trial and accomplishment.

My life is so amazing. I am grateful for so many things, but most of all a peace of mind and heart. I'm happy with where my life is taking me and trying everyday to better who I am.

In three days I will embark on the journey of a lifetime with my very best friend. It's only Costa Rican orphanages for two weeks, but I will see beauty in a part of the world that I have never seen before. And my heart will be touched by the lives I will meet.

Off to Costa Rica on Friday!

Here's to every moment! Happiness all around!