Young and Really Dumb

I never thought it was possible to make so many stupid mistakes in one week. Every single one I made, I had control over...And I really just blew it.

There's things that are obvious... the physical damage of me and Jerry. The accidental face wax. The sunburn to top it off. And not letting any of it heal before going out and doing something else dumb. (See picture and video stream below).

But there have also been several spiritual and emotional mistakes. I am no where near perfect, in fact so far from it that I get discouraged. And then I remember that we're just passing through this life. I have a Savior and the atonement, so that I can progress. I have someone to feel my pain.

When I am laying in bed crying... homesick for my family, not wanting to even know what's coming for me next... I can pray and find peace is knowing that my Savior died for me. That He can feel every burden I carry and that in the eternal scheme of things, everything is going to be okay.

My life is comical in so many ways.
I look like a WRECK right now... and I'll laugh about that.

This is what happened this morning... four days after the crash.

It hurts, but the story is one that'll forever make me smile.
First off, it could be a lot worse. and I am blessed in so many ways.
I'll take the physical trials any day over the emotional.
Somehow they seem to come together.
Bring it on! They will make me stronger...
I just need to actually start LEARNING from my mistakes.
And stop being so dumb.

And I've just decided that life is hard.
I need to endure it and endure it well.

It's about that time where I stop look at what I'm doing, reevaluate it and make some serious changes. When I take a minute to stop and look what I'm doing, I realize that this is not who I want to be. And I need to figure out pretty darn quick who that is and get back on track.

I want to be happy all the time.
I want to be a strength to people.
I want to be a strength to myself.
And to not be ashamed to show who I truly am.

"I have been blinded by the cares of earthly life, 
Lord help me to remember this, we're all just passing by"

Time to set goals and make things happen.

I am ready to move to Hyde Park.
I am ready to get away from people who bring me down.
I need to surround myself with people who lift me up.
I felt like I was really growing up there for a while,
and now I'm back in square one.
I de-progressed when I hit a small bump.
And that's ridiculous! Time to buckle up Laur!

I am ready to go to Costa Rica.
And volunteer in an orphanage for two weeks.
My goal is to raise all the money it takes for me to go there.
And I will make it happen.

I am ready to make the temple, three hours of church every time,
prayers, scriptures and the Lord a bigger priority.

I want to volunteer in a family support or abuse center this summer.
I want to do productive things with my time!

I need to eat healthy, spend money wisely and exercise.
It's time to soak up vitamin D and live my life right.

More service.
More gratefulness.
Less complaints.
Smarter choices.

Ready, set, go!


+
On the PLUS side though,
I have the best friends and family in the entire world.
My mother, father, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, grandparents...
are all AMAZING!
My sister is my best friend, more so than ever!
I love her so much, she understands me in every way and
she is an example to me... of what direction I would like my life to go.
John Locke and Randall Blake are my heroes!
I just love how one of them will always call or text me at the exact moment
that my life is crashing before my eyes.
They are always looking out for me like older brothers
and are some of my truest friends up here.
Derick Morales is the man...
I just can't even imagine not knowing him, or him at BYU-I.
He is such an amazing friend, who is SO hilarious and SO fun!
Chauncy Harrison my best friend.
Seeing him just makes me happy.
I love Chaunce, and I don't see him enough anymore.
But even the old notes on my wall and in my drawers can help
get me through a rough patch.
AJ my pants neighbor, I just love.
AJ is the most genuine person around.
And he is living by the spirit,
cuz he shows up EVERY time I need a smile.
Jeff and Kyle...they make me feel happy to be alive.
I just love these two and how great of friends they have proven to be.
Emilee DeMie, I lurv her.
Monty Pel... his lines may be used on everyone, 
but they really work on me.
His timing is incredible, I miss my Monts!


The list must go on and on.
But these special people needed a special mention,
because when my life gets hard,
they make it SO much easier.
I love you all!

Life is hard.

But life is a blessing.

I am blessed to be alive.

I am blessed to know the people that I do.

I am blessed to have agency and be able to learn on my own.

I am blessed blessed blessed.

And no trial can take away the knowledge 

of my perfect Savior and faith in His plan for me.