Refuge

Wow, life is just moving so fast.

One week I just feel weak with vulnerability at the glance of a text message, knowing that just like all the others, he too wouldn't be there in a week. One week I'm work 60 hours and running from meeting, to work, to meeting, to church. One week I'm sitting pool side just jamming to music. Sometimes my mom's here, most times my best friend is here and sometimes I'm all alone.

Sometimes I just want to cry at the strangest times. I want to drive on the shortest walks and where sweats on the hottest days. It really is because of the people in my life that I can pull through those sad times.

But most of all, what makes all the difference… it isn't my pay check, or what food I have in my fridge, it's not what boys want to hang out… those are great ways to be happy. But the ultimate happiness… that is the most constant thing I have in my life.

My savior Jesus Christ. 

The true gospel in my life.

The knowledge that my Heavenly Father loves me and that there is a way to return and live in his presence.

The knowledge that my choices, my integrity, my pains and sufferings… it's not all for nothing. That as I grow up, repent, love, laugh… strive to be better everyday… that I have the opportunity to live with  Him again.

Knowing that my Savior has felt every pain I go through. That He alone can be enough reason to be hopeful, to be happy… when the road ahead looks rough, looks so far… that He is there.

Sometimes I feel so weak and lonely, I just have to leave everything because I just can't fake it anymore... and though Jesus isn't physically in my presence... He will send people to get me through it, He will be a comfort within to power through. He will prompt people to leave notes at my door and make life AMAZING by allowing people into my life, like Kylee Geisler, the very best friend I could ever have.

He's always with me when I allow Him to be.

And that… that is why I can ALWAYS find a reason to be happy.