Weird Fears

When people list their fears, the common ones are spiders, heights... things like ghosts and the dark. I can list some of those too. I'm afraid of the dark outside when I'm alone and thunder and definitely have a phobia of anything involving throwing up, even if someone coughs the wrong way. But one fear I don't ever talk about, but think about almost EVERY day, is one I developed in about third grade.

I read the book There's a Boy in the Girls' Bathroom by Louis Sachar, and ever since that day, I have been afraid I am in the boys bathroom, when really I'm in the girls. It's not like I scream or cry, but I'm honestly paranoid. 

When going into a public restroom I first look at the signs outside the door. I look at both, making sure I can clearly distinguish the difference. When I get in I look around for any women. If there is a girl in there, I'm obviously safe. If not, I check for the urinals. Just because a bathroom doesn't have urinals, doesn't necessarily mean it's the girls bathroom. (Okay, yeah... it pretty much does, but I am still having anxiety about it at this point). 

So I go do my thing... and someone walks in. So here I am freaking out, what if it's a guy, what if he sees me. So what do I do, I duck under and judge the gender by shoe. It it could swing either way, I jump up, wash my hands and leave before they could even see me. If I'm safe, I'm safe.

I realize this is like crazy. I don't understand why I think like this and why I have so much fear about being in the wrong bathroom. I NEVER have been in the wrong one. Even at my school in high school, I knew the bathroom like the back of my hand, I would double check everything every time I went in... just in case. 

Anyway, that's just something weird to blog about for today.