Crazy?

My favorite song right now is "Who Says" by Selina Gomez or even "Honey Bee" by Blake Shelton.  Who says, who says you're not perfect, who says you're not worth it... ? Who says you're not beautiful who says? No one can decide who you are for you. Yeah its a Disney channel artist, but those words have meaning. And most of all... the na na na na na na part is fun to jam to.  You've got every right to a beautiful life.

And there's Honey Bee... that just gets my groove a groovin' in the morning.  You be my sunny day, I'll be your shade tree, You be my honey suckle, I'll be your honey bee. What great lyrics those are.

Ohhhhh my life is nuts. I go from sad day to happy day. Long day to short day, stress to relief. Don't judge -- I'm a girl... a lot goes on in there. Especially when you're low on chocolate. I work on campus 40 hours during then day then about 12 every night as I overnight chaperone this week. So AT LEAST ninety of my hours this Monday through Friday will be spent on the wonderful campus of Utah State University. Am I making bank? I wish... if the pay was higher then by golly, I'd be rollin' but either way... I love my job, I love that I have a job and I am grateful for the way summer is beautifully rolling out. Some days I complain that I work too much... actually EVERY day probably. Cuz quite frankly, I do... I'd rather be responsibility free, out basking in the sun and spending someone else's dime. But that is life.

Oh how this summer is full of blessings.

I know why it didn't work out in relationships with people I wanted it to. I know that the friends I'm making are way more important then the dates I could be tallying up. And I know that no matter what happens... its my attitude that will make or break the situation.

Everyone... (no exaggeration..) EVERYONE... they think I'm crazy. I guess that's just my unique and weird personality bursting out. I can't hide it... I guess I am just that weird crazy girl. I get the comments, "you're crazy" at least once a day... and I kinda think I'm proud of it.

The thing is. I don't EVER want to be boring. I just want to be a bundle of surprise, even if it means surprising myself sometimes. I want to never let a minute go dull (oh, they do, but I don't WANT it to). The moments I make awkward become funny stories. The moments I embarrass someone are my proudest. I just am working on this whole care free livin' thing.

That would be my Napolean Dynamite dress... at the gateway mall.

I.can't.do.this.whole."normal."thing. Haven't been able to for a while now, but it's getting to the point where I don't even have to hide myself with make up everyday. It's getting to the point that I can say whatever to whoever. There are shy times and boy am I insecure when it comes down to it... but we aren't in high school, we aren't 14, we are old enough to be ourselves.

We have EVERY right to a beautiful life. 

The only way to do that is to be you.

And I hope that one day I find a smart, hilarious and goofy man to live a long crazy life together. :) For now, I have my goofy best friends and family.