Real Talk

These have been quite the last two weeks. I was a counselor for a program called Retreat for Girls. This is a week long camp for girls ages 11-15, to come and strengthen their testimonies in the gospel of Jesus Christ, make new friends, do fun activities, crafts, classes and spend a week on their own learning about who they are.

I am a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I am Mormon. I believe in Jesus Christ and I know that I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father. That through the Holy Ghost I can gain a testimony of the truthfulness of this gospel.

There have been times these last few weeks that have been really hard. There are two different sessions. Which means two different groups of twelve girls. I had the opportunity to get to know twenty-four girls so personally, that we are like a family. I love them with all my heart. And seeing the way they interact, seeing the way they deal with their trials and seeing the way they love each other has brought me so much strength.

I have had shingles through all of this. I have been in more pain from sickness, than I have ever felt in my life. I have been sick from medicine and constantly lacking the energy I was counting on having. It has been hard for me to try my very best and see that it's not enough, that sometimes I had to step out from my group, that sometimes I couldn't make it out of bed when I needed to. These two weeks have been so hard for me because my doctor told me to quit my job and that wasn't an option to me. I want to be here. This experience is as much for me as it is for the girls.

I prayed. I cried to my Heavenly Father, and I told him I am sick... that I can't do this alone. That I needed the strength to get through my day. And my prayer was answered time and time again.

I know that He knows that I am sick. I know that He knows who I am and what I'm going through. I know that because I prayed to know... and I FELT it.

The whole time I had joy in my trial, because I was blessed with two groups of AMAZING girls who got my through it all. I had joy because I had friends care about me, who helped me get through my hardest moments and even a doctor to call and check on me every few days.

Some moments were hard, but my days were all wonderful, full of joy and love!

Now I am at the last day looking back and I see the blessings in my trial. I see that because I didn't have the strength that I would have normally, that I had to humble myself and rely on help to make things happen. I had to humble myself to my friends, to my family, to my doctor, to my Lord Jesus Christ and ask for help. I had to realize I can't do this without the Lord and because I had Him guiding and supporting me through the week, I was able to grow so much more than I would've without a struggle. 

It's like when you're playing a game at leadership camp and the girl who had done it before needs a blindfold or can't talk. I came to Retreat and was blessed with awesome girls, I was blessed with the ability to be liked by them and the words to share with them... And I was blessed with this trial so that I could grow. If I didn't have shingles, I couldn't have made as much of an impact on these girls, because my own testimony wouldn't have been as strengthened of trials and joy in them.

I love my Savior so much. 

And I know that He loves me.

I know that I will be healed when it is His will.

I know that this church is true.

And the only true joy and hope...

comes from the knowledge that we can live with Heavenly Father again,

that He has a plan for us.

And we have a divine purpose.