In Joy

I've been thinking a lot about my life lately and just evaluating it day by day. Sometimes I'm way off track of where I want to be headed and other times I surprise myself with strength. Putting trust in the Lord is the way to happiness, and I'm finally feeling that every single day.

For a long time in and out over the years I've been in Logan, I'm just gonna admit it and be really honest... I was marriage hungry. Embarrassing, there I said it. My twin sister got married and I felt like I needed to be too. It was the hardest right at first, then it'd just come in waves after that... always looking for a new boy to capture my heart.

I just wasn't content... and I made fun of girls who were acting the same way. I WAS THAT GIRL. Like calm down, Lauren. I'm not gonna say I stopped dating and I don't care about boys now, cuz we all know that's a lie. And I'm not going to say I wouldn't love to fall in love. But luckily for all the boys I date from here on out, I'm not planning our wedding out in my head every second and I don't think the next boy I look at is "the one." I took a chill pill.

In the last month, I really took to heart my favorite quote, "Are you counting your days or making them count?" and I started to live IN joy. Started to find what makes my heart happy.

I can honestly say I am happy with my life as a single girl, knowing that God has a plan for me, and if I just focus on the parts of my life I can control ever day and live righteously, then I will find all these blessings... even in the challenging moments.

There are trials.  I used to think the hardest thing in the world was the dating world.  I am the champ of that now, and have received new trials. I have been given trials I had never thought would come my way. I have been given trials that I cannot change, but only endure. The trials I have been given distracted me from other trials. It's an endless cycle of change, trust and problems. I have been given trials and they all have made me stronger, but most of all, they have all made me realize that I need my Savior and that He loves me.