Why do I blog? I blog to vent. I blog so people can connect with me on a deeper level. I blog so my grandma can get the update on my life. I blog to form my thoughts into words. Blogging has made it easier to me to express my thoughts and even to vocalize them.
I blog a lot about love.
I blog a lot about boys.
I blog about the Church.
And I blog even easier when I'm sad.
I just say what's on my mind,
Hoping to in some way clear it.
Quick word to the haters: Recently there was a comment on my blog, trying to correct what I said. I say what I mean and mean what I say. When what I mean changes, there will be another blog about it, but this is my special place to vent and reflect and figure things out, so if you don't agree or care, then don't waste either of our time. (And don't act all hard, then leave an anonymous comment.. those are two contrasting behaviors). Also when I say things... it's all based on my opinion and my experiences, but I make it generalized, as a blog should be in order to not rip anyone, not embarrass anyone and to relate to more lives. Oh and don't assume a post is about you or someone you know, if you think it is, I'll tell you... but most of you don't know everything I do, everyone I see... everything I feel.
I have incredible friends, family, jobs, roomies, classes and major. I have success in every single one of those places. And have so many blessings to count because I owe it all to the Lord.
I am happy and I mean that. My smile is genuine and each day I have more and more to smile about. To be completely honest, the department I struggle with is with the gents. I can definitely like them. And I know I talk about this a lot. It's because all other areas of my life feel problem free… and this one has been the most problematic.
I get discouraged about one thing… and general conference twirls me around. I have an amazing night, full of new hope and motivation. And then one thing leads to the next and I just feel like my feelings and intentions are completely over looked.
Then I go to institute. It had been so long that I forgot how to get to the room… I needed institute bad this week and I didn't even know it. The message was perfect. My heart was filled with more hope.
"The Lord loves you and it will work out."
Positive out of a negative: Instead of thinking about all the negatives of a relationship that didn't work out the way you wanted it to, THANK the Lord for letting you find out sooner than later that you were not meant to be.
If we do the right thing and actively seek the future we want, then it WILL work out.
"Your future is as bright as your faith."
Another thing we discussed in institute was happiness. I think about what makes me happy and they are wonderful things. I often overlook the powerful tools I have available to me to also find happiness. In the scriptures, it talks about the happiest people and what made them so happy? The love of God, true repentance, dealing justly with fellow men, moving on and letting go, no cliques & "ites..." if we follow these ancient examples, we too can be THAT happy.
Also I need to recognize that everything I have is God's. Everything I've accomplished is through the power and support of my Heavenly Father and to Him do I owe the recognition. And through Him will I have faith to trek on through life.
New Goals Inspired By Brother Larsen:
Go 24 hours without saying anything negative aout a person!
Never let anyone be alone, if you can help it.
The greatest thing about life is that we are forever changing. And the person we were yesterday can be completely different than the person today. We can become better.
"The Lord loves you and it will work out."
Positive out of a negative: Instead of thinking about all the negatives of a relationship that didn't work out the way you wanted it to, THANK the Lord for letting you find out sooner than later that you were not meant to be.
If we do the right thing and actively seek the future we want, then it WILL work out.
"Your future is as bright as your faith."
Another thing we discussed in institute was happiness. I think about what makes me happy and they are wonderful things. I often overlook the powerful tools I have available to me to also find happiness. In the scriptures, it talks about the happiest people and what made them so happy? The love of God, true repentance, dealing justly with fellow men, moving on and letting go, no cliques & "ites..." if we follow these ancient examples, we too can be THAT happy.
Also I need to recognize that everything I have is God's. Everything I've accomplished is through the power and support of my Heavenly Father and to Him do I owe the recognition. And through Him will I have faith to trek on through life.
New Goals Inspired By Brother Larsen:
Go 24 hours without saying anything negative aout a person!
Never let anyone be alone, if you can help it.
The greatest thing about life is that we are forever changing. And the person we were yesterday can be completely different than the person today. We can become better.
Wednesday brought another discouraging moment... and my friend asked if we could go to the temple. At first I told her no, then I made time for it. (Sorry, but the temple takes priority of my Sexual Harassment Training.) I thought a lot about life and people. I thought about what was building me up and what was dragging me down.
I got a call at work today that my grandpa was dying. I almost broke down right there, planning flights and arrangements right there. Then I found out it was my great-grandpa. He is a WONDERFUL man. I love him to death. When we were little I remember building with he blocks he made and playing the piano phone, I remember wheelchair races with him in the shop away from all the other adults. I remember how he always wanted a hug and how his house smelled. I remember riding his electric scooter and tipping him to the curb. I remember him laughing and smiling, what a sweet, sweet man. And I remember how unhealthy he had grown to be over the years, how much pain he had suffered. He is a man of God who has touched the hearts of many, and it is a happy time as he is sent back home.
I needed the temple today to reflect on life. To feel closer to my Savior as he was about to feel close to the greatest great-grandpa I have parting this world.
I got a call at work today that my grandpa was dying. I almost broke down right there, planning flights and arrangements right there. Then I found out it was my great-grandpa. He is a WONDERFUL man. I love him to death. When we were little I remember building with he blocks he made and playing the piano phone, I remember wheelchair races with him in the shop away from all the other adults. I remember how he always wanted a hug and how his house smelled. I remember riding his electric scooter and tipping him to the curb. I remember him laughing and smiling, what a sweet, sweet man. And I remember how unhealthy he had grown to be over the years, how much pain he had suffered. He is a man of God who has touched the hearts of many, and it is a happy time as he is sent back home.
I needed the temple today to reflect on life. To feel closer to my Savior as he was about to feel close to the greatest great-grandpa I have parting this world.
The Lord is trying to tell me, that I NEED Him. General Conference, Institute and the temple have all been eye openers to me... I need to stop deciding for myself, jumping the gun and thinking I know best. The Lord knows best.
this is beautiful <3
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