Blogging is just how I get my emotions in control, I haven't cried in a week. (That's really amazing). And I was about to with the sting of a conversation... but instead I wrote this explantation and expression of my feelings. You saved the day blogspot. Still no tears yet.
I don't like it when people try to tell you why you do what you do; when you're head over heels with someone you can't be with... and tough luck, because you can't control it either; when people you always, always confide in, decide to flip the switch and hit ya where it hurts.
That's life.
It seems to happen a lot with people. You love them and trust them and then their reaction over powers their own thoughts... emotion takes over and you hear words you never wanted to. You go from a ten to a zero, to some of the only people giving you confidence.
Sorrys make it better. But why does it constantly happen in the first place?
Another thought... some day my prince will come. And it's not that I don't know AMAZING guys, that I don't have friends that I just love and adore right now... it's not who's most qualified.
It's finding someone who loves me as much as I love them... someone will love me no matter what. Someone who will accept all my perfections. And someone who will just light off fireworks with their touch. I can't control that, but someday I will know... and that day doesn't have to be now. Just because you some guys aren't "the one" doesn't mean they aren't special to me.
Just try to understand along with me, we can't control why people feel the way they do about other people. And if we could... I don't think true love would really exist. It's when someone's one in a million happens to be their one in a million's one in a million. It's when two people in a world of thousands, only see each other. When being that special person is the ONLY thing that matters.
I'm love the idea of being in love and the feelings love bring, but it doesn't mean I can just pick and chose who my heart will love. Patience is the key.
I feel sorry I can't love the people who love me.
But we can't let it be like that... that's just life and we all experience it.
That's what'll get us to our real happily ever after.
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