Life is crazy. I get my hopes really high for something, it doesn't work the way I want it to... so I give up or stomp out the drive behind my hope... then it happens in a way twenty times better than you even hoped for.
What sucks is... when you want it to happen again, you're not sure if you'll ever get that lucky.
"It's a long way down when your hopes are high as mountains but I am worried that I'm falling for you."
That is the newest addition to my blog playlist the song Falling For You by Ronnie Day. I have loved this song since the myspace playlist days... it has really true meaning. Every time you go to something you have a chance at winning, you get your hopes up so high... every time you have a crush when the person looks at you one way your stomach flutters... every time you take a test you did "well" on you look at the results expecting so much from it.
I play the whole "I don't know what I got," "Yeah, I don't think he really likes me or even notices me," or "Whatever, no one wins these..." card so that on the outside its not embarrassing to lose, to be rejected, to fail. But let's be real... we all have our hopes high and they come folding down on the inside the second bad news hits.
I say one thing, but on the inside I'm hoping for the opposite.
"Yeah I bet I failed" ... who are you kidding Lauren, you think you did great, but if you say you failed an A would feel SO much better.
"Yeah I have a one in a million chance of winning that." Easy, you feel like one in a million.
"Yeah he would never even notice me." And then when he hugs me and invites me over and texts me... my day is made.
I'd like to say on this note. You can't expect that a guy likes you just because he talks to you. You can't expect a girl to like you just because she talks to you. Replying to text messages and wanting to hang out means nothing more than a reply to a text message and wanting to hang out. I've learned this the hard way... and I've seen it happen time and time again. Don't confuse signs and lead yourself on. If someone tells you how cool they think you are, or how sweet your personality is... it's not code for I LIKE YOU LIKE YOU LIKE ME. It's just honesty. Unfortunately. Honest friends are great, one sided loves/likes/obsessions are not.
My life is absolutely incredible. I have lucked out so many times, I have SO many things to smile about that I'm worried for a curse of dark days to just hit. I guess the key is your attitude. Sometimes you win; sometimes you do get that crush you've wanted SO BAD (can you tell I want that one...yeahhhh! ha), sometimes you do get the A on the test... and sometimes you get a 72, most times you won't win the free giveaways and really that guy IS way too cool for you. No matter what, the smile's there. There are other things to be proud of, other things to have fun doing.
You can be happy no matter what!
Yesterday I saw this girl in a skirt with crutches hobbling slowly across the road... a car offered to take her and she simply smiled and said thank you, but I'm fine and persistently crutched the rest of the way home. She looked in so much pain, but she continued to be strong and did it with a smile.
Bryden (always my example) has been teased, he has been denied wishes, he can't do things that boys his age can, but he ALWAYS has a smile on this face.
No matter the trial, the pain, the rejection, the key is to be happy.
"Your joy no man taketh from you." (John 16:22)
Someone can take our boyfriends, our prime seating at the game, cut in line, get better on a test... they can steal from us, cheat off of us... but they can't take away our happiness. We choose our own attitudes. And the ones who really won't be happy are the ones who did all that in the first place. "Wickedness never was happiness" (Alma 41:10).
"Men are that they might have joy." (2 Nephi 2:25).
We exist to find happiness.
God's plan for this life & the afterlife is called the Plan Of Happiness.
He wants us to be happy.
We like to be happy.
So BE happy :)
no matter what.
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