I've been fighting the problems I've been having in the most christlike way I could possibly force my pride to bear. I have an issue with humbling myself and getting over my ego to be there for people that I love, even when they aren't showing that they love me. That's a selfish way to think though.
Love people when they are in their worst state-- that's when they need it the most.
You can not fight problems with hate, or you will not win. It will just total to a little more hate in your heart. Instead, change your attitude, serve, love. I'm learning this by doing this in some instances and learning it by not doing it in others and seeing why I should've.
I have a problem with people taking longer to do things than they need to. Efficiency. It's like the eight year olds you run into who take 10 minutes of saying um in between each sentence to tell a story about a girl falling off her chair in class or something. Take out the ums, speed up the thought process and bada-bing we've got a story.
And then I do the same thing... inefficiency... take longer than I need to... waste time... doing what something that is not helping a situation and will just take me longer to reach happiness.
As I've been learning this. I've been practicing. And really really trying. What it comes down to... having a smaller ego and a bigger heart.
In some ways it's nothing a person has done or said, it's just how I feel inadequate in helping a person with her personal problems... and all I can do is make her bed. That's it. I can't change the situation, I can just show her that I love her. In other ways, it's doing someones dishes... because I know that that small act would help. It's just being a friend sometimes. It's caring about the well-being of more people than myself.
Last night, one of my dearest friends told me the act I did made her cry.
I went up to my pillow, and there were two cookies on my bed and a note that made my feel so happy from another one of my beautiful roommates.
I was told that I was like a sister.
The bonds I have with my sisters are the most special I can list.
That really means a lot to my heart.
It gives me even more purpose in the relationships I have.
For once in those two weeks of chaos... I felt happy about how I made these two girls feel.
I love them with all my heart.
And I tried to show them.
And they showed me... why I need to serve.
It feels good to realize the impact you have on people.
But even more than that, they are teaching ME!
I have so much to be grateful for.
After so much bitterness and complaining I must make a list.
1. My family: Talking to my mom lifts my spirits almost every time, my dad told me I was his perfect daughter and special girl, there's nothing I want more than to represent these incredible parents and make them proud to have raised me. My little sister is adorable, I talked to her tonight and just gabbed and gabbed and then my brother called me, fake upset that I didn't call him first.
Me: "Your boy advice last time was great and all... but I got dumped"
Him: "He's stupid then"
Make your sisters heart smile, what an adorable brother. I love all my siblings. The daily interaction I get with my twiny twin twin and then cherished times I talk to all the family I have across the globe.
2. My roommates: Kylee Anna Geisler, connects with me on every level, she helps me realize the important things in life and prioritize. Liz Lewis, is so neutral and can see the good in everyone. Abbie Lewis is on the right path in almost every way, her presence in a room makes you want to glow like she does. Collette Coon is such a good listener and really connects on a personal level. And last but not least, Emilee DeMie, she's a crack up and she has shown me that no matter what temptations come into our lives, you can be stronger.
3. My major: Family, Consumer and Human Development. Talking about this makes me so excited. I'm excited to be in the classes, excited to learn. I just can't help but freak out with an overly joyous rant when I talk about all the things my life has in store for me with this decision.
4. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints: I am proud to be a member of this church. Proud to say that I know without a doubt in my mind that the Savior died to my sins. That through his atonement and by his example, I can make it back to heaven and live in his presence.
I am thankful for prayer, food, cookies, the gym, the feeling you get after a work out, high self-esteem, legs that I can get places with, the desire I have to get an education, how easily I can talk to people, how God makes every trial a blessing by turning my weaknesses into strengths, for institute, for my best friends, for Chauncy Harrison, for texting, calling, skype, facebook, twitter, blogger, pinterest, and for fetchin' google docs! How amazing is google? SO amazing.
I am thankful for this computer, this home, for people who smile, for people in general, for the talents I have and for the enjoyment I can get from other people's talents, for success, for marriages, for families, for happiness.
There is so much to be thankful for.
And I just strive to recognize more and more each day.
"You are loved more than you will ever know,
by someone who died to know you"
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