Honey Bee

When I listen to love songs, I don't feel bitter or sad. When I listen to love songs there's not an unreachable hopeless feeling. When I watch love movies, it's not just a fiction story on the screen. When I listen to love songs, all I can do is smile. That's gonna be me one day. My heart is a little more hopeful each day, that I'm going to fall in love.

"I've been known to take my time

I've been told that I'm alright

I don't know if I'm your kind

All I know is that you are

On my mind"

It's interesting, because I can go all summer with all these little crushes that lead me to absolutely nothing. I could go months and months without even trying to be with any of them, without trying for a kiss or even to get the digits. It was almost pathetic how unmotivated I was for the attention of these boys. I went last year through little phases with boys and I would just cringe at the thought of being their "girlfriend." 

It wasn't the commitment that I was afraid of, it was with whom I was close to committing to... I didn't feel the fireworks, I could see how everything cluttered and clashed the dreams and plans I have for my life. 

 The way I acted my first year in college and this summer were night and day. And now I feel content, happy and hopefully; it's because I finally realized what I want and need, and the difference between the two. 

Add sincerity, subtract the drought. And that is something special.

Respectful, comforting... butterflies! Ahhh.

<3

Put a little eternal perspective into the thoughts of any choice, and it's gonna work a lot better. I could easily kiss you and you. I could be a try-hard and let the dates start pouring. There are actually options and boys taller than me right now. And I have absolutely no desire to do so with everyone. I would rather sit in my sweats and not go over to conceited boys houses to hear them talk about themselves. I'd rather study and plan my life out. I'd rather not waste my time with masses of people who aren't going to give me that happiness, and save it all for the ones who will.

I don't ever want to compromise my fullest potential for what's easy or convenient.

I'm not gonna fall back on the chasing neighbors, or the old boys. 

There's someone out there for me who's even better.

It's not about what's easy.

It's about what's worth it.

And I've got a good feeling that whether this works out or not... that I'm going to learn a lot about myself and my future. All I know is, I am trying my hardest to just trust the Lord and rely on Him to guide me through all the changes and adventures that lie ahead.

"No, I know it won't go the way it should, 
but I know the heart of life is good."

"You be my salty and sweet, 

I'll be strong and steady, 

You be my sunny day, 

I'll be your shade tree,

You be my honey suckle,

I'll be your honey bee"

Be my honey bee, okay? :)