Heart Grumble

Silly little things should not matter as much as they do. 

But sometimes, you just can't help the way you feel.

Positive energy. 

Positive energy. 

Think happy thoughts.

It's not working.

So, I'll blog it out.

And at the end of this post,

I will say that I am happy.

The smile will go back onto the face.

And I will walk with my head high.

While tears held in for months drip from the cracks of my heart.

It's not that I want him.

I don't.

I would probably take him.

But I absolutely don't want him.

He really took my trust in relationships.

And I can get it back.

Not every guy is like that.

that was the first time I've been emotionally

warped into a pathetic love-sick teenager

waiting for things to change in my favor.

Sometimes no matter how "over someone" you might be...

there's nothing to prepare you for the sinking feeling when 

you realize that they fell in love without you.

That you weren't good enough

and they have already happily moved on.

And yeah yeah yeah, I didn't have a "boyfriend" anytime recently.

But I was in a relationship that was emotionally twisted

and full of heartless games... 

It counts.

It hurts.

And I handled it surprisingly well when it all happened.

It was the during part I struggled with.

And now, I want to say I'm happy for him.

But how does he deserve that...so soon...

after how he ruined "us."

He fooled me enough to have me coming running 

back when it was convenient for him.

He does deserve her.

Everyone deserves to be in love.

Every single person deserves it.

But I'd be a lot more happy for him,

if he was honest and open with me.

So all the guys out there, the lesson here is...

Be honest. 

Be open. 

Don't play games.

If you don't want her right now.

Leave her alone.

Don't toy with her heart while you decide.

And if you're on the other end,

just get out...

Get out the first time your best friend suggests it.

Get out the first time he kicks you to the curb.

Stay out.

If he wants you, he will make it happen. (or she?)

This isn't a life or death situation.

This isn't gonna leave me depressed.

It's just a moan about my unsettled break up.

and now I can move on.