Merry Christmas: Song, Adam, Eve...

Song From My Heart
Sometimes I just feel lost in my home. We aren't equal and sometimes I just feel forgotten. Forgotten by the world I grew up in. And it makes me just want to run back to the place I now call home. When tears can come from my dads unbroken composure while retelling the accomplishments of my beautiful sister at thanksgiving dinner, yet all I can bring is obnoxious date stories, it starts to wear and tear my self esteem, among the people who planted any worth I had to begin with.

The problem is, I know once I get home... I'll just want to call and tell my mom everything. Ill miss the beautiful trees. And the hugs from Emmalee and Adam. I'll want a pup to lay in my lap and a shower head taller than me. I'll want to come back to the other place I call home. And the internal battle of happiness will conflict my heart. Home is where the heart is.

Where is my heart? Where is love? It's my choice.

I wrote a song. It's not amazing and I know that. I don't have the voice to make it amazing. But it rings from my heart and I did it for me. You can listen if you please.  And my brother, who didn't want to be noticed in this video harmonizes with me (seen with paper bag over his head).

 Love is in this very home. 

I love my family so much. And now is a time to be grateful for them. I may not have the social life here that I once had, or my own bathroom with laundry baskets & a bed all made, but I'm here and I'm loved. 

My family loves me. God loves me. My friends support me, even from thousand miles away.

Christmas Adam

(Because Adam comes before Eve aka Friday night)

Last night I was sitting on the couch pouting and strumming clashing chord patterns on my dad's guitar. My fingers already stung from playing too long, but sitting on Facebook any longer would strain my eyeballs. 

I was sad that I have no one really to call, no one to be with, then my phone rang. 

Monty Odem Pel, a guy who I can always count on to turn my day around, called. Now neither of us had transportation so all we could do was talk. And that we did. The first time I ever really individually went below the surface with this guy. And Ioved it. Over a year has gone by and it feels like our adventure with Batman was yesterday. Monty deserves the best and he'll get it. We talked for an hour and fifteen minutes. And I had a smile from ear to ear. 

We all deserve the best. And we'll all get it.

We all have it, if we just open our eyes.

My sister could tell I was sad

And she did this. 

Next thing I know there was a knock at the door and Jeff Butcher handed me a sweet roll and said "What's a sweet girl like you doing alone on a Friday night?"

And he took me out just like that. 

My mom is amazing. She has the gift of knowing when someone needs your individual attention, conversation, smile... Acknowledgement. Kylee inherited that gift personal to me. I think that's part of being my life-long best friend and twin. These two women are amazing. 

My house is amazing.

The food's been amazing.

My family is AMAZING.

Christmas Eve
Today to celebrate the birth of our Savior, we spent it together as a family. This was one of our most successful family outings in a long time. We went to the zoo.

Chauncy, don't hate, but I'm wearing black and brown.

And I look haaaaaawt.

My daddy is the best. 

Boy, do I have a HOT mamma!

I love my twin. We laugh, we cry, we tell secrets, we fight.

Part of being sisters, part of being best friends.

I love her with all of my heart.

And she's amazing at what she does.

Yeah, my and Brooklyn are just spaz's together.

I like being with her, because it's just a fun time.

She is someone to be with on a low-stress kind of day.

I love Austin because he has grown up a lot. He is more of a friend now, than that annoying little brother he was so good at being before. He can have adult conversations with me and always, always, always make me laugh and feel good about myself.

Adam is the most forgiving and calming little guy.

I love him. He just makes me happy to be home.

And this is our little angel, Emmalee. 

I passed Kylee up this summer. 5'10" and 5'9" 

And here is where it just gets weird.

 

Today was amazing.

MY LIFE IS AMAZING. 

And knowing that I have such people who care about me and love me... Is enough motivation to change my attitude. 

Love note from my little sister.

Here's to another great week in this beautiful state :)
And to a very Merry Christmas of thankfulness and love.