A Happy Heart

For everyone worried about how I'm doing without my twin... I'd just like you to know that I'm coping fabulously. Even I thought I'd be depressed after the wedding. Truth is, I think it made it easier. The stresses in wedding videos, keeping slim enough to fit in the dress, figuring out logistics, family drama... it's over. And that added so much to my anxiety. No more seeing Kylee come and go from my room... she has her home and I have mine and the stability and clear separation makes it a lot easier. 

It was a lot harder for me to go to bed next to her empty pillow and full closet, than in a room that is all mine. 

Yes, I cried myself to sleep the first couple of nights. But, I sucked it up hard during the day and actually meant the smile on my face... and now the nights aren't even worth a frown.

This has seriously been one of my happiest weeks this semester. No stupid jerks to deal with, no silly arguments with my sister of wedding plans, no stresses... and it's not because it's been super fun. I just feel sunshine in my soul... happiness just bursting inside me.

Could it be the result of?

Beautiful Sunny Days

Bedtime Oreos & Milk with Kevin

Dates & Dance Parties with Chauncy

Acing Job Interviews.

A's on tests.

Shamrock Til You Drop

Temple with Kylee Geisler

House sarming parties

Filling my fridge with groceries.

Rides to work at 7:30am by Connor

Amazing friends

THE BEST JOB EVER

No more data plan.

Cheeseballs....

Most definitely... But these amazing friends and blessings in my life have been around for a while. It's noticing them that has made the difference. My heart feels happy and I'm not even in love. (Wouldn't mind a man, but the point is, he doesn't exist and my still heart feels full.) That's how deep my happiness has hit. I haven't felt like myself in a long time... and I'm back. The real Lauren Falter here to stay. I'll get stressed, I'll have bad moments... but the real deal is back... the one who wants to be with friends, wants to talk, to do active things, to dance, to do cartwheels, to play my guitar, to be goofy to even strangers, to invite people over... I want my happy heart to stay happy. :)

I am just sitting here on my bed... and I feel happy. I haven't felt this happy this consistently in a long time. And it just feels so good. This smile is here to stay. I have the best friends and family in the world. The best double bed in the world. The best school in the world. I have the best Savior in the world. I come from the best state in the world. And I have a greater life than I could ask for.


"Fake it til you make it" ...I faked it.. and now I've made it.

I think what it is... is I finally know what I want. And that's to be happy. It's not figuring out what needs to happen right this second with my future, it's just letting life happen and being smiling about it.