Reflection

Reading back on old journals.

"This story has it's problems, along with amazing adventures, the sad times and the happy times, the laughs and the cries, but it doesn't include an end; only the comforting prediction for a happily ever after."

Wow. That may have been about a certain situation as a certain time... but that every day, that's this blog... that's life. There are happy times, sad time, moments of hilarity and moments of stress and confusion. There are moments your body shakes with fear, your voice quivers with tears, your laugh echos through quiet halls, you whisper secrets to a friend, you walk to the beat of headphones... there are ups and downs, lows and highs... embarrassing moments, awkward stories, one-liners, deep conversations... it's all part of this mysterious plan we signed up for. There is no end. Life goes on forever and depending on what we want and how we live now... that's how we will determine our outcome in life to come. Everyday is new day, everyday reveals something worth smiling about, we just need to notice.



Another journal entry from September 2010: "Will it ever get easier?! I'm struggling so much. I want to be happy, but there's a hole in my heart. I forget about it when I'm having fun. But when I lay in my bed at night.... I cry. I sob silently into my pillow and miss him with all my heart."

Sometimes I still cry into my pillow about life's silly stresses. But no matter what trial you or I are facing, I promise it will get easier.

It's through the love and support of family and friends that I keep myself from shaving off my hair and getting pre-mature wrinkles. 


I love my Aunt Barbi who is so understanding and willing to give, to serve, to listen and to laugh. I love my Aunt Marci who is so selfless, considerate and also willing to listen and be there for me just when I need it. I love my Uncle Scott who always gives me words of encouragement. I love my cousin Alyssa, I silently watch her example of genuine selflessness, she's amazing. I love my Aunts Jeri Kay and Tracy and Sarah and Jessica and Jamie and Kellee, they may not be as close but they still make an effort to be in my life. I have so many cousins and uncles and family members and those are just the ones within five minutes of me.

I love my sister Kylee Ann Falter. She's my best friend. She knows me more than anyone and somethings are just left unspoken, yet so clear. I love Luke, her fiancee, (hates). I love his family and what I consider to be another chunk of family that I get to have around me too. They are hilarious and so inviting.

I love Kylee Geisler, my other Kylee. I love my 502 girls, Kayla, Morgan, KeKe, McKell, Megan and Abbie... they are so helpful and kind and so cute. I love my 505 girls and Kenzie Bainbridge, she's the comfort of a mother to me and also a true true friend. I love my Heber boys, my best friends... Matt, Chauncy, Elliott and Luke. They are goof-balls, some cause drama and some can be mean... but they really are people I can always count on. I love Will Bainbridge, I feel so safe and accepted around him. What a guy. I love Bryce Larsen, he always puts a smile on my face.


I love my Savior who can be with me, understand me and love me, ALWAYS.

I love Brianna Anderson. She is my best friend no matter how many miles come between us. I love Breanna Rushton, she's always someone I can relate to and talk with. I love Cameron Bruce, what a little nut, like my kid brother. I love Jordan, no matter how many times things don't go the way we expected, he'll always be there to count on and trust, and with that I love his family. The Aionos are another family to me. 

I love Taylor Stoeckle and Lauren Miller for writing little notes to me from time to time. I love my "hub" Ols for being hilarious to talk to. I love the people who tell me I'm beautiful and random messages that really hits my heart deep.

I love my mother and father! They are AMAZING. I love my siblings, who have also turned into my best friends: Brooklyn, Austin, Adam and Emmalee. I love my grandparents, on both sides and Bryden. They have supported me so much. I'd be no where without them. I love ALL of my family... Falters and Belnaps... all amazing people.

I love all the girls in this hall and building and ward and at Utah State in general. I may not have them all as my best friend, constantly surrounded... but they're example and just friendly hellos and genuine efforts to talk to me are so appreciated. Lakin, Melanie, Ashley... all you girls who I've barely gotten to know asking to help me with Kylee's shower. You are so awesome.

I love my OSRT family. I can't even list which specifically because you all are my out of state family here in Utah State.

I don't wanna be creepy, but I love the little out-of-my-league crushes I get... and the thrill I get from these people noticing me or hugging me.

I love the people who take the time to read my blogs.

I love the bus drivers and my Physics professor.
I love my job and all the people I work with.

I love my Aggies.
I love my school.
I love living.

I didn't want to start this list of people I am just thinking about and loving...
I really have been stressed this semester. I have no life during the week days and feel like I can't even be the friend I want to be to all of you. Yet you have still continued to make my days and ease my load. 

I could give these words more meaning I would: Thank you.
You mean the world to me.

2 comments:

  1. I love how much you love even when things get rough. And I love that I got a little shout out :) That was sweet. You're amazing Lauren!

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  2. getting thoughts on paper (or blogs) is therapeutic I think... If you look over that list you just created I see a long list of blessings and I know even in the stress of the semester and life's adjustments you recognize your blessings and that is going to take you to the top... :) you have so much talent and strength. and good song choices too btw.. :)

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