The "Planned"

The "planned" things in my life are going downhill. Fast.

It's like going down Beaver Mountain... on a couch... attached to skis... on ice.

Picture that scene for a minute, going full speed to your death basically.

Terrible way to die... a sudden and unstoppable descent.

But one thing that also would compare... a smile on my face.

Weird. I know. I'll go through all the deets here for you and break. it. down.

But everything I was excited about the last couple of weeks seems to be what I'm unsure about now.

And I want to be sure again.

But since I'm not, all I can be is happy no matter what. Right?

And here's another thing. 

I wish it was socially acceptable to dance with headphones on in public.

Booty Work comes on... and I can't even make my booty work.

:) Life will go on though....

Let me break it down now.

HEALTH:

As many of you know, I'm puke-phobic.

I am no afraid of throw up... I have a PHOBIA.

I have anxiety... I freak out... 

My body feels like it's attacking itself from the inside when someone so much as even gags.

I went to counseling in second grade because I wouldn't ride the bus.

Wanna know the real reason why?

SOMEONE PUKED ON THE BUS.

I'm nuts.

So what happens... to me of all people.

I threw up all night.

Each time I completely cleaned the bathroom and didn't even cry.

Then I'd lay on the couch a breakdown.

I cleaned the bathroom about 6 times that night.

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On the plus side:

I know that I have AMAZING people in my life to take care of me.

Kelsie made me homemade chicken soup, oreos and bread.

Jake brought me everything I needed... twice.

Joe snuck into my house to get my akalete up to my bed.

Liz heard it all and still loves me.

Kylee, Emilee, Collette, Abbie... they all tried to get what I needed.

Randall came to visit me in the day.

Marci was willing to help in any way.

Phorist texted me in the middle of the night.

Chauncy relieved me of my day long in the apartment.

Landon listened to my graphic details.

HAHAHA.

I seriously am so grateful for these people.

And sick days help me appreciate the healthy days.

SCHOOL:

Here's the deal. 

My major changed.

I've been set on being a teacher since I could talk basically.

I was the weirdo who played "teacher" instead of "house" with my siblings.

I sent faxes of math sheets to my uncle in Utah.

I loved it, I love teaching.

And then I failed a test I needed.

Twice. 

And how ironic that that was the writing test.

I love writing!!!! :( !!!!

So smack in my face, not once, but twice.

And after hearing I needed to pay, get a tutor and take some stupid 15 week course, 

I lost all motivation to even be in the major.

It got me thinking.

Do I want to be a teacher because I want to teach?

Or do I want to be a teacher because that's the "plan?"

I love special needs kids, so much.

And I can still work with them, without being their teacher.

Without taking 50 classes about how to teach math, english.. you name it to kids with disabilities.

I could work with them in another major.

Or even my dream of adopting a Downs baby through Reece's Rainbow.

So here's what I'm thinking.

Family, Consumer Sciences and Human Development

with a Child Development emphasis

and a Special Education minor.

Some of the occupations with this are counselors, social working jobs, head start programs, early childhood programs... etc.

Not sure, I'm thinking.

It's more well rounded for the person I want to be

and not just the job I want to have.

More details will come later on this.

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On the plus side:

I got an email today from my english teacher: "I was wondering if you might be willing to let me have an electronic copy of your paper that I can use as a good example of the Word Meditation essay. You did a very nice job on this assignment."

BOYS:

Let's just skip this one. Blah.

They confuse my heart and head.

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On the plus side:

I know that I can really like someone... a lot.

And want it to work.

And really really really hope that it does...

PINTEREST:

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On the plus side:

Nothing negative to say.

Pinterest has taken over my life.

Not really, but close.

I'm planning my future home, wedding, all these new hairstyles and jewelry and work out.

Wow, I'm slightly addicted.

My wedding ring?????? And wedding... YEAH.

I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO...

This weekend with my girls!!!! :)

Figuring out what I'm doing with life... in all aspects,

 it'd be nice to know a lot that I don't right now.

Thailand this summer.

Yoli Convention in Salt Lake with my family in two weeks.

I went to the temple today, after I wrote half this blog and it relieved a LOT of stress.

Thank goodness for the Lord in my life.

And the roommates that I have, who are sisters and best friends to me.

For my best friend Kylee Anna Geisler, who's mind is one with my own.

I love life.